Horror Haircut
by smallheart
Summary: Sakura cuts Sasuke's hair, sending him on a horror rampage. Hilarity ensues! Warning: Has a few emoticons
1. It beginned with a cut

(:  
This fanfiction has an awful lot of emoticons (this has nothing to do with my English). I just thought it might be uh….entertaining.  
Please Read & Review!

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"Sasukeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee—"

_Does she never get tired? I mean, come on already! It's been like what, 2 hours? My legs are aching and I'm about to collapse, can't she just be nice and say "I give up?"_

"Come out, come out wherever you areeeeeeeee—"

_What's with her and the prolonging of vowels? I mean, it's time for her to MOVE ON ALREADY! What is she? Three??! Doesn't she know that spelling correctors don't accept "eeeeeeeeee"s as a legitimate word?_

"Sasuke, if you don't come out now, I'll never be able to correct that mistake."

_Yes, like I believe her. She'll probably make everything worse with her "correction". Now, if I understand what she's trying to do, she'll probably try to lure me out with her…_

"Sasuke, aren't chu a goooood boy? Agagagoogoo, now be a gooooood boy and come out~~~~"

_Baby talk._

Sasuke straightened his legs, which were on the verge of turning into jelly, then stretched, preparing himself for another few hours of crouching torture. He heard Sakura's approaching footsteps and paused. At that crucial moment, his back decided that being silent was after all, not the way to go and cracked.

"T_______________________T !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" screamed Sasuke's facial expression.

"8D!" went Sakura's.

"OMG ," Sasuke's face screamed pure fear as the door began to creak slowly open.

"8DDD!" went Sakura's in glee as she opened the door.

"OMGG," Sasuke's facial muscles contracted, making him look an awfully lot like Donald Duck.

"8DDDDD!" Sakura's happiness was unmistakable.

With every inch the door opened, Sasuke's original "OMG" added a one more 'G' and Sakura's "8D" added a couple more 'D's.

The exclamation mark, however, remained at one as both parties agreed that with the additional emphasis the 'G's and 'D's placed on the original word/ emoticon, the exclamation mark was rendered redundant.

When the door was a third open, Sasuke's face felt worse than the time he had watched Ghost Busters. He decided to give up. He gave his hair one final rub. It'll be painful to say goodbye to you, he thought. He then proceeded to wail inwardly, "It's all my faaaaault", ignoring for once his hatred for prolonged vowels.

_I should never have let Sakura cut my hair._

The door sprang open.

"Sasuke, what the __ are you doing here?"

"Naruto?"

"Duh, have you even seen another guy with yellow hair around here?"

"Am I ever glad to see you!!!"

"I'm sure you are, but would you mind getting out?"

"Why?"

"Because you're in the toilet and I really need to pee ASAP."

Sasuke's jaw dropped.

Somewhere in the house, Sakura opened the (other) door to find something that made her go "DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD:!" and let go off the door knob immediately.

She screamed an earthquake that measure 8.0 on the Richter scale as Kakshi Sensei closed the door sheepishly.

Sakura walked, shocked, towards the cafeteria, still clutching her scissors, while muttering something that sounded an awfully lot like "I'm too young to see this sort of thing."

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	2. The way to style your hair

R&R! :D  
I don't own anything (really!)

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Sasuke ran around in circles trying to mess up his hair to create the illusion of naturally spiky hair. This was one of his bad hair days and he knew it. Usually, creating that spiky hair look was effortless because of the gadget he had rigged which included two hairdryers (one facing diagonally down left and the other facing diagonally down right) angled at precisely 56.738 degrees each and a chair slapped straight in the middle to ensure that the waves of conflicting hot air would create steep slopes both ways, forming mountains of hair for the (lucky) person that happened to be sitting right on that very chair.

Today, however, one of his dryers had broken down and Sasuke had only realized this when he had stepped out of his chair and met with horror—that surpassed the continuous watching of thousands of commercials—his hair looked like a (crashing) wave. He had screamed in a voice that would have beaten the pitch of any soprano hands down and which caused the wave on his head to promptly crash. He peered out of the large mass of hair that had proceeded to engulf his face after his shriek and gasped. He said words which even the toughest gangster would blush at, and if you would excuse me for breaking the rule of using proper English, screamed "OMG!!!!!" which was followed by a series of facial expressions that even emoticon creators would find hard to duplicate.

After sitting around sulking for a good ten minutes, he decided to do whatever he could to salvage the situation. He took out a comb and started to attempt to do stuff by hand. _When the going gets tough, the tough start making their hair perfect~~_

After a good ten minutes, a resounding yell followed by a "WHAT HAVE I DONE?!!!?!?!"

A few kilometers away, somewhere in her condominium, Sakura shuddered. She flipped her phone open and scrolled down her contact list to a name that started with an S and ended with an E. She narrowed her eyes.

"Today is going to be a bad day."


End file.
